Expectations

Do you ever struggle in knowing where it went wrong in conflict with another? It is hard to see things clearly especially when we can't even see ourselves. I often explain to clients that counseling offers each of us the opportunity to look into the mirror. Addressing our own blind spots can be some of the most challenging and emotionally draining work. The January 2nd's daily reading of "Courage to Change" offers a great tool for us as we process conflict both interally and with others with whom we are in relationship. I find that I can sometimes get reactive when I do not get my way. I think this can be true for many of us. The difference is what do we do with those expectations that are not met. If we focus our attention on changing others and getting others to "see it our way" it most often times will result in us feeling like we are hitting our heads against the wall. "Courage to Change" reading says, "While these loves ones may not meet our expectations, it is our expectations, not our loves ones, that have let us down." The problem really resides within me. The January 2nd reading goes on to say our loved ones "may or may not be able to give us what we desire. And no one person will ever offer all that we require. If we stop insisting that our needs be met according to our will, we may discover that all the love and support we need is already at our fingertips".