Craig Barnes wrote a great description on marriage in his book Yearning: Living Between How It Is & How It Ought To Be,
where he made the following statement that I will never forget. Barnes' says, "We don't mend each other's brokenness; we just hold it tightly" (p. 93). When I hear this...I realize just how inadequate I am for my wife. But isn't that the beauty and purpose of marriage? I've realized that when our spouse is reaching for us, he or she is not reaching to get us to "fix them". Rather, they are asking us to "be with them". Barnes also mentions that "in God's design we do not manage our needs, we confess them" (p. 93). To confess means to be vulnerable and to be vulnerable requires being safe...safe enough to be held.